After a terrible turn of events, a zookeeper at a Brooklyn Zoo is suggesting Park patrons harass two star Penguins. Why? For being homosexual. Mary Lee, the parks top zookeeper has this to say: Atom and Stevie are completely Inseparable and it’s starting to rub off on the younger male …
Read More »Monthly Archives: June 2019
Mom of homeschool child hires bully to teach life lessons
While Kathy west of Hamburg New York pulls her brownies out of the oven we are overwhelmed with cries of pain coming from the second floor of her Posh townhouse, but Kathy’s only concern is the consistency of her brownies which she says is “too thick”. She throws them in …
Read More »James Cameron teams up with ATF – offers submarine fleet to locate missing guns.
A hard pressed ATF is fed up with the rash of the recent boating accidents resulting in loss of firearms across the nation, so they have decided to team up with none other than the legendary film maker and anti 2nd amendment enthusiast James Cameron to do something about it. …
Read More »Gov. Newsom Orders National Guard To Offer LBGT Merchandise “or else”
In a both bold and stunning political parlay California Governor Gavin Newsom Orders the Cal National Guard To Offer LBGT Merchandise to its members “or else”. Governor Gavin Newsom ordered the States reserved armed forces to immediately offer LGBTQ-sensitive attire or he is going to double down by letting his …
Read More »Gender neutral couple hospitalized & jailed after getting head stuck in partner
MA – A Cambridge gender fluid couple were sent to the hospital last night and eventually jailed for a very awkward position where a man had his stead stuck inside of another man during a heated passionate encounter in which the police are calling “an unnatural and lascivious act with …
Read More »AOC’s home raided – Mexican sweat shop found in her basement used to pump out tweets
NJ – A Cape May summer home for a prominent politician was raided early Monday morning from a state and federal strike force as well as the FBI, the state labor commissioner announced yesterday in what they are calling one of the most disturbing raids of our generation. “We thought …
Read More »Domestic Violence Surges After NYC Women’s March
Weekend domestic violence sky rockets after the recent Women’s March organized by the ever growing facebook group@womensmarchonwash. The march on Times Square by Saturday’s March For Women’s Rights Protesters sent shock waves over the nation for the weekend, as police departments everywhere have reported huge spikes in domestic violence calls …
Read More »Schumer pleads for Irish, Italian, and Polish Travel Ban
NEW YORK — In what some are calling an absurd move, Schumer calls for Irish, Italian, and Polish to be placed on a Travel Ban that he says is “much overdue”. The Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer teared up today with a beautiful Amy Schumer at his side, begging President …
Read More »Trump to Buy Black Lives Matter in the fall
NEW YORK – Trump Conglomerate industries announced today an agreement entered for the sale of the much controversial activist group “Black Lives Matter”. “This is big… no, huge” Trump said before driving a 400 yard long drive from the Augusta fairway wearing a gold replica Masters Jacket autographed by Tiger …
Read More »Tesla Autopilot Update Will Include ‘Battle Royale’ Mode
In one of the most anticipated Tesla updates in some time, the latest mode will pit drivers against each other in a survival battle mode. Tesla Inc., owned by Elon Musk, has announced that the latest version of the Tesla autopilot will have the most anticipated feature in its short …
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