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Springfield Vermont. High School senior David Wright is breaking legal ground by initiating one of the most controversial lawsuits of 2019.
David is suing his biological parents, for being white. David, 18, claims the weight of Shame bestowed on him by his parents simply for being white is at times too much to handle.
“When I was a kid I knew I shouldn’t be white” David Wright recalls while lighting up a Newport cigarette — which his parents made him exit the home to consume.
David told us of the struggles that only people of color face, and suggested “there are enough white people on this planet already”.
“Haven’t these pink Devils created enough suffering, racism and hate for one generation” he snipped after flicking his cigarette butt to the grass. Before going to the backyard to play a friendly game of Domino’s with his best friends he had this to say:
I always gravitated towards the soul music, good food, and started braiding my hair at a young age. I always knew my parents made a mistake and they should be held accountable.
Every night as a kid I showered, I would scrub and scrub trying to wash the white off me. I would wash until the water ran cold. My parents did this to me.
His parents however were flabbergasted when they discovered young David hired a lawyer to sue them in hopes to redistribute their wealth.
He feels that some form of compensatory payment needs to be made to the descendants of Africans who had been enslaved as part of the Atlantic slave trade.
David is sending his constituents change.org petitions outlining that every black American should get 35,000 dollars on their 18th birthday.
“He wants us to sell our house and donate the money to an inner-city youth club” Margaret Wright says.
“He’s completely delusional. We love you David, please stop this and go back to being our little Davey” she added on camera with a wkb69 affiliate earlier today.
David’s lawyer, Joseph Goldstein claims his client has endured extreme psychological stress, suicide ideologies and PTSD all over what he called white skin privilege and guilt.
He tells us that David is in the process of Legally changing his name to Reggie Freeman and on Davids behalf Mr. Goldstein is demanding $35,000 to cover skin pigment reassignment procedure, changing his skin color to Ebony or “dark black” he told the Lampoon.
His lawyer also added that $35,000 is “an extremely low price to pay for 18 years of Damages”. Adding “my client did not ask to live this lifestyle, carrying the weight of hundreds of years of slavery and bigotry upon his shoulders. These skin color treatments can change his life for the better, and if they reduce his extreme self guilt then who are David’s parents to stand in his way”.
It is noteworthy to add that David recently filed for inclusion to his City’s local Black Panther Party as a new member. His membership is still pending. His lawyer believes that if David makes a good faith effort to identify as a black man that acceptance into the New Black Panther Party is “all but a given”.
Future updates as they arrive at Lampoon offices.
