Lampoon Tribune The most trusted news on the net. Facts first.
The Satanic Temple has awarded “Fiend of the year” to one top ranking devil, Mr. Anthony fauci. Anthony, who has with good faith and courage used his power and influence bestowed upon him from Lucifer to torment, cause maladies, or elicit dreams, emotions, etc in millions of souls. Record-breaking numbers that have not been met since the 1930s and 40s by other great visionaries of the underworld. The dark lord couldn’t be more pleased.
It is said that when Anthony passes, he is first in line as Hell’s chief of staff. Roles will include creating solidarity among satanists to keep Lucifer’s affairs in order among other duties.
It is also rumored that Anthony Fauci will be granted keeper of the infernal archives. This title holds dominion over spreading impurity and filthiness on earth, but also ensures that anyone making a pact with Satan must have approval from Anthony first.
Great news all around for a Doctor Fauci. Keep up the good work.
