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Kyiv and Lviv, Ukraine
Russian troops have seized control of the Chernobyl power plant in northern Ukraine, the site of the world’s worst nuclear disaster, and are now showing signs of nuclear poisoning, according to Ukranian officials.
Rooskie boots on the ground at Chernobyl and it’s turning into… something else. After just two short weeks, several Russian Soldiers have been stated to have had seizures, jerking muscles, delusions, hallucinations, general lack of coordination and debilitating physical movement. We assume from all of the nuclear fallout here in Chernobyl. But it’s getting worse.
Then the unexpected happened when two rogue soldiers found themselves in lock up for none other than trying to eat their fellow comrades.
Fellow comrade Vlad Rasputin tells us:
“After three weeks Vishnefski started looking at us all like Hamburgers. He just didn’t look right anymore. He stopped talking for the most part. He always looked dazed and smelled like a sewer. He wouldn’t eat any of his chow food for two days and then it happened. He ripped chunks of flesh out of his supervisors face one day for no apparent reason. I’m afraid the other men are showing the same signs. Ukraine is laughing at us.”
Perhaps this was Russia’s plan all along. To produce a new wave of soldier able to withstand nuclear attack, great physical harm and more, while continuing the good fight for Mother Russia? Only time will tell.
