Lampoon Tribune The most trusted news on the net. Facts first.
UCLA’s Medical Science Department led by scientific professor and Scholar Hans Juergen released a 247 page scholarly medical article loosely relating recreational marijuana use to it then creating a yearning for homosexual activity.
Doctor Juergen’s hypothesis stems around the oral fixation one gets from inhaling marijuana smoke from fixed paraphernalia sources such as bongs, hookahs, blunts and more. His study is cited stating:
We started our patients out with ‘pinner joints’. In the days and weeks that followed we slowly worked them up to blunts & hookas to eventually electric fed power bongs. Every one of our studies ultimately suggested the user move on to smoking “a pole” for a better High in which case the study almost always obliged.
Even the ones reluctant out of our 50 case studies eventually were coerced into then ‘smoking a pole’. Which we are being told is marijuana paraphernalia. A combination of 3 factors result in guaranteed homosexual Behavior:
This is one part promise of an additional high, one part oral fixation (created by sucking on things with pursed lips), one part actively being high on marijuana.
To be sure this was not a fluke these heterosexual men were shown LBGT pornography videos prior to the use of marijuana in which all case studies found the footage revolting. After two weeks of marijuana use the men went from no longer showing signs of outward discomfort by the footage, to actively ‘smoking’ poles to combat the oral fixation.
The doctor’s work has been published in various areas of professional expertise including WebMD and PubMed.
