James Cameron teams up with ATF – offers submarine fleet to locate missing guns.

A hard pressed ATF is fed up with the rash of the recent boating accidents resulting in loss of firearms across the nation, so they have decided to team up with none other than the legendary film maker and anti 2nd amendment enthusiast James Cameron to do something about it.

ATF director Thomas Brandon states that thousands of guns fall into deep lakes never to be found again each week in America and he has tapped a shoulder of a prominent icon to fix things. Thomas Brandon tells us:

We just do not know why so many gun owners take their handguns, sometimes their entire collection, boating. Perhaps some use them to fish? Or maybe they want to ensure they were not stolen while they were away from home. At any rate its quite tragic that these firearms end up missing so often and are swallowed up in many of our lakes, rivers and even oceans.

The ATF is proud to announce our partnership with James Cameron a submarine enthusiast who is creating new versions of his Deep Sea challenger to help us locate lost firearms all over the nation. The Deepsea Challenger is a deep-diving submersible designed to reach the bottom of Challenger Deep, the deepest-known point on Earth. So it should do just fine everywhere else. Our ATF agents are presently being trained in operation of said units.

James Cameron a known anti Second Amendment advocate said he was more than happy to help and we quote:

“Its not just about recovering fire arms. Its about burning those liars too. Like the Redneck NRA Supporters They Are I will gladly disarm each and every one of them if I have to pilot this submarine each and every day myself.”

Cameron continues:

“Once I clear the body of water of firearms I will then use my data to prove the gun owners to be a liar. This data can be used to obtain a warrant to search the gun owners home to find the weapon he or she claimed to be lost in a body of water my submarine previously cleared of firearms. Checkmate. Like the Redneck NRA Supporters They Are — damn them to hell.”

The ATF’s spokesperson April Langwell, Chief of Public Affairs Division had this to say today:

You own a couple or three dozen firearms. Then we come by to ask about your firearms, with the thought we might need to confiscate them. These gun owners tell us they used to have said guns, but they were tragically lost in deep water when their boat or canoe overturned. Its usually at night, so they aren’t even sure exactly where they were. Imagine losing 15 guns after your canoe capsizes. Well this is where Mr. Cameron is here to help us.

Mike Bluegill a tour boat operator and NRA member in Louisiana also speaks about the trials poor gun owners deal with on a daily basis.

“Those men ain’t lying. Owning a gun just about automatically makes you the worst boat driver in America. It’s odd. I know plenty of great gun owners who can fly a plane or drive a car OK, very good really. But… jeez… you put them in a boat and suddenly it’s like they develop Parkinson’s disease. They can’t even touch boats without weird things happening.”

Dave Incitto, also an NRA member for the past 16 years tells us its not just boats that tragically result in loss of firearms, but other vehicles as well.

“A friend of mine testifies that his guns fell out of the basket in the balloon trip he was taking in Oregon. They fell right into Crater Lake from 1000 feet up. All 13 of them. That guy has the worst luck ever. Crater Lake is the deepest lake in the United States at almost 2000 feet.”

If the gun owner is telling the truth or not is up for debate, but one thing is sure, the ATF will take every measure to recover your weapon with the at times personal aid of James Cameron. The 1st Deep Sea Challenger journey will visit Crater Lake (the deepest lake in the United States) this Fall, manned by none other than James Cameron and two ATF agents, to aid in recovery of the hot air balloon passenger who lost his firearms and gained national media attention for doing so.